


Return

by Tete_a_Tay



Series: Loki and Reader [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Abandonment, Alternate Universe - Canon, Angst, Angst and Feels, F/M, Healing, Loki Is A Jerk, Loki has commitment issues, Loki is King, Lost Love, Moving On, Pregnancy, Pregnant Reader, Return, Returning Home, Reunion, Separations, This Is Not Going To Go The Way You Think, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, loki leaves, past is the past, too little too late
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-25
Updated: 2019-10-25
Packaged: 2021-01-02 18:18:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21166046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tete_a_Tay/pseuds/Tete_a_Tay
Summary: Walking in the park is meant to help convince the little demon inside you it's time to come out. You walk daily with your friend, huffing and puffing, and each day your due date grows closer with no signs of being relieved of your not so little bundle. Today is different though. Someone approaches you and your friend, someone you didn't expect to see again. The someone who hurt you more than any other person in the world. As if he never left Loki is suddenly there, in the park, and his eyes have fallen on your obviously pregnant belly. You are faced with the past and must decide where the future will take you.Can be read as stand alone or with Begin, which is intended as a prequel to this story! This story was posted first, but you can read them in any order you wish or completely separately.





	Return

**Author's Note:**

> This ish angsty yall. It kind of just flew out of me one day and I've been sitting on it for a while. It demanded to be written and I had to get it down. 
> 
> TW:  
It's totally tagged (and in the description) but just to be sure this mentions pregnancy and being pregnant quite a few times.
> 
> Can be read as stand alone or with Begin, which is intended as a prequel to this story! This story was posted first, but you can read them in any order you wish or completely separately.

Autumn air lifted the hair from your neck as you attempted to get comfortable on the park bench. You huffed and puffed, finally leaning back against the back of it and shaking your head, face contorted with discomfort. Your friend sat beside you, watching you, gaze sympathetic as she offered you a bottle of water. 

“I have been,” You panted, pausing to take a sip of the water. “Walking every goddamn day.” She smirked at your tantrum but listened anyway. “Why won’t this little monster get out?” Your empty hand fell to rest on your heavily pregnant belly and you poked at it, voice stern. “Do you hear me? You are evicted. Get out before I have to send someone to get you.”

You were hoping to go into labor on your own, no induction, no c-section. The little being currently mooching off your entire body seemed to have other plans however. 

Your friend’s hand rubbed comfortingly across your belly, her voice soothing baby talk. “Sweet demon, your momma will totally get someone to tear your little ass out of there if you don’t listen. Yes she will.” 

You nodded and widened your eyes in agreement as you took another swig from the bottle. You groaned as you handed it back to her. Your hands rubbed across the skin of your belly again, nails dragging slowly across. Your baby, whatever it may be, liked that. It always seemed to shift and press to follow your fingers. “I’m nice, I promise.” You said softly, a small chuckle working its way out. You were due within the next week but your body showed no signs of allowing your child to come into the world. So you’d taken to walking in the park.

The pregnancy had seemed to go so quickly until the last month. The past few weeks had dragged on and on. You wondered if it was made worse by your decision to not know the gender until you held the baby yourself. It didn’t really matter though. Because everything hurt and you were tired all the fucking time. You wanted it done with. You wanted your baby and to be able to get off the bed without a pulley system in place. 

Your friend started talking again, about her own child. You listened, but tiredly, though you noticed right away when she stopped speaking. You glanced to her and raised an eyebrow but she wasn’t looking at you. She was looking above and past you. Her voice was cold and unwelcoming when she spoke. “Can we help you?”

You turned your head, confused, and your heart fell, plummeted, to your feet. Your mouth opened in shock and surprise, pulse racing in your ears and your neck, breath stolen. Your baby gave a kick of protest to the sudden change and you wondered if it could hurt them. Could shock hurt your child? You’d be lucky if you made it out of this encounter without having a stroke. Or a heart attack. Or both. 

The man staring at you seemed to be in just as much shock as you. Whereas you looked like you’d seen a ghost, however, he looked filled with white hot rage. You took in his features in a snap, eye flying across his face to prove to yourself that he was who you thought he was. You noticed his mouth pulled up in a snarl, brow wrinkling. He looked the same. Absolutely unchanged and most certainly alive. “Loki?” Your voice high, disbelieving. Because if he was alive and he was here where the fuck had he been?

“I hardly think you have any reason to express surprise to me, considering I’ve come back to find you fat and full of child.” His voice was icy venom, a hiss. He spat the last word as if it taste sour in his mouth. 

“This is-“ Your friend started, disbelief pulling the word. 

“Yes.” Your voice was firm as you cut her off and you stared daggers at her to shut her up. She took the hint. 

“I’ll give you two some space. I’ll just be…away from here.” She shot you a concerned look and moved along the path to another bench that ringed the playground. Her eyes stayed on you two, like a hawk. 

You turned back to face him and found him staring at your large belly in disgust. You felt sudden blinding rage as your own lips flattened against your teeth and you returned his hate-filled words. “What the fuck are you doing here, Loki? I thought you were dead.” Your hand pressed to your belly protectively, shielding it from his gaze.

“Ever the disappointment, am I? I return to this,” he shook his head, sneering. “Paltry little world for one reason and find she hasn’t even been able to keep her legs closed in my absence. I have wasted my time for nothing and you have the gall to be surprised with me, mortal?”

He was almost shaking with anger and your mouth dropped open as he spoke. You couldn’t believe him. Couldn’t...stand him. All your emotions were swilring within you, shock keeping you from fully understanding what was happening. You could cry right now had he not started throwing this tantrum. The series of events were so fast, so jarring, you didn’t even have your bearings. 

“Wasted your time? How the fuck long did you expect me to wait, Loki? I had no word from you, on one else knew anything. How long was I meant to pine and walk the fucking widows walk for you? Do you have any idea what it has been like without you?” You had so many questions but no time to ask them. He’d started this battle, his eyes staring angrily at your belly as if he wanted to rip the infant from your flesh. You would kill him before you let him hurt any child of yours. You had loved him best of all once, but not now.

He scoffed and rolled his eyes. “I imagine you managed, what, a month without me? Judging by the state of you. You’re nearly due it seems. I knew you were a whore but I never expected quite-“

His insult fell on deaf ears. You began to laugh, staring at him, eyes wide in massive incredulity. You shook your head and furrowed your brow, interrupting him. “How long do you think you’ve been gone, Loki?” The chuckles fell with the words, you sounded almost hysterical. A crazy woman. But that was how you felt sitting here, staring at a man you thought dead for too long.

His jaw twitched from how hard he was clenching it. He didn’t seem to pay any attention to what you meant, his eyes were on your stomach again. Suddenly though he glanced up, eyes widening, face paling. “How long…? I thought...I thought I’d been gone for nine of your human months. Ten, perhaps. Is...is this…?” He seemed to be making a realization and suddenly you felt your heart breaking all over again. 

He reached out for you belly now, fingers shaking. You pulled back from him, slapping the hand away, staring into the shock that flashed across his face. Your head was pounding now, heart in your throat. You felt sick. You didn’t want him to touch you, didn’t want his skin on your skin or anywhere near your child. He’d been gone for this long and he never thought to check on you? Had he thought of you at all? Did he mean to tell you he’d purposely not communicated? “You...Ten months? You never tried to write or send a message? You think...ten months passes and you don’t even try to connect with me?” The words were spilling from your lips disjointed. Your heart was still racing and your child was swirling in your belly, making you feel nauseous. Or was that him?

Now there was guilt on his face. Shame. He hid it quickly but not before you saw it. “You didn’t have Heimdall, anyone, check on me? Not even once?”

His voice was curt and stiff, defensive. “It wasn’t purposeful. I am a ruler now. I had duties to get in order. Things to correct. I... thought of you.”

The words sound lame in your ears and you closed your eyes to breathe. Nausea swept through you again. Thinking he was dead had been its own hell but this...There was something especially hurtful in knowing he cared so little for you he hadn’t even checked in. Hadn’t really thought of you. Could he not have ended things? If he didn’t want to come back, he didn’t have to leave you waiting and wondering, agonized. Tentative hands touched your belly and you jerked away, teeth bared like an animal. “Do not touch me.” You bit out, a snarl. He didn’t seem to know what to say. “You are a selfish…” The words trailed away as tears pooled in your eyes. You didn’t even want to insult him, you realized you didn’t want to speak to him at all. You swallowed and sniffed. 

“This baby isn’t yours, Loki.” Your voice was gravely, hateful. He blinked at you, never having heard you speak like this to anyone. Much less him. The words were forceful and honest and he didn’t seem to understand that either. “I waited for you. I waited and waited and cried and waited some more. I went searching for any of the Avengers to get a message to you. I tried to get your brother to find you, but he’s always off in space. Maybe he did try to reach you, I don’t know. I had no one to find you and no one to turn to. You left me. With no word. With no update.” His lips were starting to twitch with a sneer but you destroyed it with two simple words, hissed between your clenched jaws. “For years.”

His face went blank, smooth. “Years?” His tone was scornful, as if maybe by scoffing at the idea it wouldn’t be true. But suddenly he was searching your face and body. Noticing things he hadn’t before. You were older, new wrinkles on your face, the corner of your eyes. Smile lines around your mouth. Still young for a mortal but...not as young as when he left. 

“I waited for you for five years before I even let myself consider going on a date much less spreading my legs for anyone.” His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed hard. He looked away from you now. “It has been eight years since I last saw you Loki. So yes, I moved on. I dated. I married and now,” your hand touched the swell of your stomach. “Eight fucking years.” You hissed, staring into his face and daring him to meet your eyes. Tears fell down your cheeks and he suddenly looked so much a little boy. Small and ashamed. 

“You would have known that if you had thought of me. If you had cared to check. You would have realized. But no, you got what you wanted. You had a Kingdom. And Daddy always said Mortals were a waste of time. They’d die before you and they couldn’t really sit the throne.” He didn’t look at you but you’d hit a nerve. “Was it shame that kept you away? Thinking I wasn’t worthy and that you were weak for loving a human? Did you let him get into your head like I worried he would?” Suddenly you sobbed aloud, pressure breaking over the edge before you could stop it. The sound drew attention from other park goers. You were the one shaking now. You saw your friend heading over from the corner of your eye. 

“I mourned you, Loki. You left me behind and I mourned you. I have a life now. I have love. I wanted all that with you but here we are.” You stood, struggling slightly but managing. “Months without talking to me. Without checking.” You scoffed at what he’d thought, at what he’d intended. “Do you think I’m just a toy to be thrown away?”

It occurred to you then and you gasped and laughed a strangled ugly sound. “He died, didn’t he? That’s why you’re here. All that bluster about your Dad and how you don’t care what he thinks and yet…” His face told you that you were right. “I gave you everything I had Loki and you tossed me at the first opportunity. You don’t get to come back. You don’t get to interrupt my life or my daughter's life.” His eyes fell to your belly and you had to close your eyes to contain the scream that was building in you. He was so careless. So blind. 

A blur slammed into your thigh, small arms wrapping around your legs. Her voice was sweet and slow, high but measured. “Mommy? Why are you crying?” You placed a hand on her head, your eyes never leaving Loki’s. He looked down to the girl, unable to help himself, and his eyes grew wide as she met his gaze. She stared at him in open distaste. She wasn’t a stupid child and it didn’t take much to understand that he had caused her mother’s pain. Her eyes were the mirror image of your own and he could see so much of you in the way she narrowed them and frowned at him. 

But her hair was long and dark, and aside from her eyes it looked as if someone had simply made a small copy of himself in female form. 

“I’m fine, Freya.” You saw Loki physically flinch at the name. You’d named her for him. For his mother that he adored. “This man was an old friend. But he was rude to Mommy a long time ago. He came to apologize but I told him that some mean things last forever in our hearts. He wasn’t a good friend.”

Freya wrinkled her nose at him and Loki watched as she placed a hand on her mother’s stomach. He could sense the magic she used to calm the child, calm her mother. Healing magic. He did not move an inch as the woman he had loved looked him over one last time. “Goodbye.” She spat, turning from him and taking their daughter with her. 

The girl gave him one last look from over her shoulder and she stuck her tongue out at him. He felt a small force of her magic strike him, obviously intended to do something harmless. Perhaps make him sneeze, or trick his eyes into thinking they had sand in them. He would need to tell Thor to see that she got proper education in her skills. He watched the small group leave the park, then stared at the spot they had last been. He felt rooted to the spot. Unable to move. Unwilling to move. 

Before he’d come here he had tried to convince himself that he didn’t want her. Didn’t need her. His father was right and she was only a mortal. So for months, perhaps years, he had pushed away thoughts of her. Had not checked on her. He returned to Asgard and locked himself in his room. The halls seemed empty and cold to him. Lonesome. With a cry of rage he began to destroy the room piece by piece, he used his magic to throw the bed and furniture until he stood panting amidst the wreckage. 

When Odin had died he thought that perhaps he could finally check on her. She could forgive him for a couple of months, surely. He hadn’t been wrong. She would have forgiven him five years. 

But he was three years too late.

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I absolutely adore Loki and think that he deserves all the love in the world, please do not take this as disrespect to the general idea of his character. I do believe he has a lot working against him, including himself, and that plays into this a little. Maybe one day I'll write a follow up to this of him returning under different circumstances, after a helpful "vision" of what could be. :)
> 
> Spoilers here! I feel like I should explain some stuff but honestly I don't think it's actually needed? Regardless, here it is.
> 
> So, the basic idea is that Loki would be the one to rule Asgard and returned home to learn. Odin was less than receptive to the idea of his son with a mortal, especially considering he would need to sit the throne and make heirs and all that jazz. So Odin encouraged Loki to cut things off. Loki is torn by this new idea of power, he desperately wants his Father's approval even if he won't admit it. Time doesn't pass slower in Asgard, but since they age differently there he just wasn't paying attention to exactly how long he'd been gone. Odin passes on and Loki is now ruler. With no one to rightly oppose his idea to return to his earthly lover, he decides to. He is honestly surprised it had been that long, though a piece of him wonders if he already knew it had been far longer than he originally thought.
> 
> Reader of course, is not willing to allow anyone to waltz in and out of her life, to treat her like she is something that can be resumed at will after being tossed aside. If she were a priority, Loki would have made her one. Though it doesn't end well for Loki, Reader is happy and loved. She has moved on and healed. 
> 
> P.S. My headcannon is that reader hooked up with Bruce Banner and they're happy together... because of course it is. (But, hey, feel free to imagine her with any of the avengers. Or maybe multiple?)


End file.
